


Cheap Shit

by DevilOfWire



Series: DevilOfWire's Kinktober 2019 [26]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bad Puns, Blow Jobs, Bottom John Egbert, Cock Slut, Come Swallowing, Comeplay, Crossdressing, Crying, Crying During Sex, Deepthroating, Dildos, Established Relationship, Feminization, Hand Jobs, Humor, Kinktober 2019, Laughter, Laughter During Sex, M/M, One Shot, Oral Sex, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Roleplay, Rough Oral Sex, Short, Slut Shaming, Smut, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Top Dave Strider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 15:08:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21210578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevilOfWire/pseuds/DevilOfWire
Summary: 26.Lactation| Roleplay | Smiles/Laughter | ToysJohn and Dave roleplay a teacher punishing his rebellious student with pleasure.They’re alsoreally badat it.





	Cheap Shit

**Author's Note:**

> **IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 DO _NOT_ READ.**
> 
> I can’t imagine these two being good at actual roleplay so I tried to make this funny.

“Th-this is a, a bit r-ri**dic**ulous, h-hah, i-isn’t it?”

Dave glares at him behind opaque sunglasses, indoors, of course. “I’m fucking you with a sparkly pink dildo, John, of course it is.”

“Haha, d-did you get the pun, tho–”

_ “Yes,” _ Dave replies, thrusting the vibrating dildo into John’s hole to twist his laughter into a scream, “yes, I got the pun, John.”

Dave grabs at the loose schoolgirl skirt laying in a pool under John’s thighs that are adorned with long white socks, holding it up for John to see. “You’re also wearing a fucking miniskirt. So don’t laugh _ too _hard.”

_“Hahhahaha–_**_fuck!”_** John yells, Dave thrusting the toy all the way out to the tip in and then in to its thick base, a move made purely in spite.

“That’s what I thought.” Dave clears his throat, turning back to his “student” with a hand firm on his hip not fucking him with a dildo. “Now, have you learned your _ lesson, _Mr Egbert?”

“G-good one, b-but no, I, mmn, I’m af-fraid…”

“How come?”

John can’t help but slip a smile, chuckling as he sputters, “I-I just d-don’t see what this has to do with m-my being _ tardy, _M-Mr Strider..!”

“It’s to show you that bad _ girls _get punished, you dumb whore,” Dave spits back, wearing his best practised poker face.

John keens when the dildo nails his prostate directly, the high vibrations nearly making him cum right then and there but a deft hand squeezing the base of his cock making him stop just in time.

Dave slaps his hand away, biting, “Don’t touch yourself, you slut. That’s _ my _fucking job.”

“R-right,” John pants, coming down from the feeling of near-climax, staring Dave right down in the sunglasses as he slurs, “y-your job is to fuck your students, m-mine is to get you _ fucking arrested.” _

Dave huffs a chuckle at that before coughing, straightening and regaining some authority by grabbing the ruler on the desk, giving John a second to brace before he smacks it down on the round cheek of his ass, at the same time fucking the dildo in deep.

“Naughty, John! What would your parents think if they found out?”

John sticks out his tongue. Very bad time to think of one’s father indeed. “Glad to see you behind bars!”

Dave sighs, sliding the dildo out to its end. “God, John, can you give me a fucking break? You’re the fucking one who wanted to do this.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry!” John whines, grinding his hips down to press the thick tip of the dildo back inside of his hole, “I’m so sorry, Mr Strider. Wh-what could I do to make it up to you?”

In less than a second, there’s a veiny, throbbing human cock right before John’s glossed-up lips, dripping with seed. “Sucking on this would be a good start.”

“While you’re fucking me with the dildo?”

“Sure.”

“B-but I won’t be very good at it when I–”

Dave groans, grabbing the back of John’s short hair and pulling him down onto his cock enough that his head enters his mouth, John sputtering immediately but accepting it enough that he begins to move down on his cock. He does his best to take it as deep as he can and mind his teeth, but the dildo buzzing up his ass makes everything just a _ little _bit harder.

And by that he means _ tremendously _harder.

“Ah,” Dave sighs, petting John’s hair as he goes down on him, getting drool absolutely everywhere and moaning around his cock, the dildo still fucking in and out of him by Dave’s sure wrist, “I like you much better like this.”

John tries to backtalk but is thankfully unable to by the thick cock down his throat, just getting spit all over Dave’s balls which then dribbles down into the air to end up landing on the white collar of his cheap, shitty schoolgirl outfit they’d bought from some store when they were drunk last night.

Certainly not the worst purchase they’ve ever made. A certain game comes to mind.

“How’d you like if I not only excuse your mile-long record of tardies and absences, John, but also throw in an entire letter grade, hard-earned extra credit, we’ll say?”

John widens his eyes, a sparkle coming to them in the dim light. Good acting.

“Yeah, you like that?” Dave groans, thrusting his hips forward to try to sink his cock even further down John’s throat, making tears burst alive in his eyes, reddened face going somehow even redder. _ “Suck it all the way then, slut.” _

Oh, God. John’s only attempted this one time before, and that did _ not _end well.

But he’ll try anything until he gets it right. He’s dumb like that, he supposes.

So John squints his eyes shut and brings his slender hands up to Dave’s cock, feeding it into his mouth as he blinks tears of discomfort away, the toy still firmly up his ass giving him some helpful distraction. He goes past the mark where he usually stops about two-thirds down Dave’s length, keeps going until he finds one of his fingers blocking him from continuing. Dave grunts above him, John looking through blurry slits to see a mouth contorted in pleasure, and it’s enough to spur him onward.

He unlaces his fingers, grabbing onto Dave’s hips to try to go the rest of the way. He can feel Dave’s cock press into the back of his mouth, sliding against his uvula and tempting him to gag but he just barely resists, holds on with a death grip to Dave’s hip bones so he doesn’t retch up the dinner he painstakingly made earlier.

John presses forward, tears running down his cheeks, but he draws in a sharp breath through what little space in his mouth remains as he realizes that _ he’s actually done it. _ He’s taken Dave’s _ entire fucking cock _ inside of his mouth, _ all the fucking way, every last God damn inch. _

“Aw, fuck, _ John,” _Dave groans raggedly, bucking his hips against his face so his balls press against him. John feels something hit the back of his throat, realizes as the thing inside of him trembles that Dave’s cumming, right down his esophagus, barely having to swallow for how far he is.

Dave drags his cock out of John’s throat, shooting yet more cum onto John’s pretty flushed face. Dave’s just barely conscious enough to use his other hand to fuck into John fast and hard, angling it up so the toy grazes his prostate and makes him leak precum like a damn tap. John fucking loves that.

And John proves it, cumming into the starchy fabric of his skirt still straining over his erection and getting it soaked with semen. Good thing this shit cost ten bucks total, because it was definitely ruined by now.

The last few drops of Dave’s ejaculate drip onto John’s face, landing in his open mouth and reigniting the familiar flavour of cum. Dave looks at John, tilting John’s head with a finger to his slender jawline, and, seeing how soiled he already is—sperm all over his face from cheekbone to cheekbone, dotting his nose, coating his lids and gluing his false eyelashes together—Dave elects to just wipe the tip of his cock right off on the flesh of his jaw.

“Ugh, _ Dave,” _ John groans, reaching down to rip the dildo out of his ass as he grows overstimulated by the buzzing, getting lube all over the wooden floor. Dildo’s a pretty cheap piece of shit too.

Dave laughs, squeezing the last few beads of cum from his foreskin and flicking it onto John’s tongue.

“Good job, Mr Egbert. You’ll definitely get an A+ on all of your projects from now on.”

“And you,” John sneers, poking a sharp nail into Dave’s t-shirt, “get an F. Not even a _ costume, _ Mr Strider.”

Dave chuckles, reaching down to turn the annoying vibrator off already. He yanks on John’s limp wrist, pulling him to his feet from the work desk they’d certainly have to clean later. “Now let’s get you cleaned up, huh, John?”

“Yeah, the cum on my face is starting to get dry.”

“That’s fucking nasty.”

John grimaces, _ “You’re not even the one wearing it.” _

“You’re right! And thank _ God _for that.”

John slaps him half-assedly all the way to the bathroom, cheap skirt trailing behind him as Dave bears the brunt of the blows.

Because hey, at least John’s not fucking laughing anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> * * *
> 
> _Check me out for updates and art and stuff! <3 _
> 
> _
>   * _[NSFW Twitter](https://twitter.com/DevilOfWireNSFW)  
_
> 
>   * _[SFW Twitter](https://twitter.com/DevilOfWire)  
_
> 
>   * _[SFW Tumblr](https://devilofwire.tumblr.com/)  
_
> 
> _
> 
> __
> 
> * * *
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope _somebody_ liked it, lol!


End file.
